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Trust me on this.

I don't know how long I will remain in this moment, this year, this decade, so I must be brief.

Be kind to Boston terriers.

I cannot stress this enough. Your lives depend on it.

Their plans for world domination were ingeniously subtle and skillfully executed. Before humans fully appreciated their superior intellect and moral vision, the Boston terriers united and replaced our foolish species as the supreme force on this planet.

You may think I will try to work against them, to give you the information and foresight necessary to stop them. You would, however, be mistaken in this assumption.

Boston terriers do not make war. Indeed, humans first bred their kind to be fighting dogs, only to discover that they refused to use their considerable strength and keen minds for violence. They are, at heart, pacifists - friendly, caring, and empathetic.

Boston terriers do not pollute. Their only by-products are biodegradable, and unlike many humans, they value green spaces, clean water, and other lifeforms.

Boston terriers do not seek out plastic surgery, watch reality television, follow celebrity lifestyles, or listen to teenaged pop singers. In fact, we should have recognized them as the superior species long ago.

Under the Boston terrier regime, humans who loved and appreciated Bostons are well provided for. Bostons particularly value those individuals who are faithful, loyal, and gentle. When we are peaceful to each other, responsible for ourselves, and respectful to other forms of life, we are given chocolate treats and extra playtime. It is, my friends, a most clever form of behavior modification training. Soon all remaining humans will learn to be generous and trustworthy. I cannot complain of this.

However, Boston terriers are nothing if not just. Those who were cruel to Bostons, or to fellow human beings, met swift payment for their crimes. I will not speak of their fate.

In short, I have traveled back from the future to repeat words that are simple to hear but not, apparently, as easy to follow. Yet even Bill and Ted understood them: be excellent to each other.

That is my message: be excellent to each other.

But especially to the Boston terriers.

[This post was brought to you by International Pretend You're A Time-Traveler Day.]

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
syredronning
Dec. 8th, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
Great entry *GGG*
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 8th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D
lin4gondor
Dec. 8th, 2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the heads up. I see that it is in my best interests to cultivate a relationship with a Boston terrier. There is always room for learning more about being generous and trustworthy. And chocolate treats sound lovely!

:-D
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
Yes, the goals of generosity and trustworthiness are very noble, but they had me at chocolate. :D
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:34 am (UTC)
PS. Santa Denethor slays me. :D
elicia8
Dec. 8th, 2007 03:57 pm (UTC)
So that was you? The Yithians told me about the Boston terrier thing.

Good to know. :)
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:21 am (UTC)
I suspect they had a hand in it, truth be told. Those crazy Yithians. ;)
nakeisha
Dec. 8th, 2007 04:02 pm (UTC)
*Chuckles*

Lovely entry :-)
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:21 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you! :)
estellye
Dec. 8th, 2007 04:10 pm (UTC)
How exactly do the Bostons feel about cats, one wonders? ...'cause I could be in trouble.

I didn't even have to read this, I was completely won over by the icon. ;)
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:23 am (UTC)
I know of several families who have both Bostons and cats in their home, and they seem to get along just great. So no worries. Besides, the fact you love and care for cats proves that you respect other life, and I have faith that the Bostons would honor that. ;)

LOL! Thanks so much. curtana made the icon for me, and I fell instantly in love with the idea of Virginia getting in touch with her inner Galadriel.
savageseraph
Dec. 8th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
Both this post, and the Virginia icon made my morning. ^_^

Also loved the holiday card.
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much! That makes me very happy. *hugs*
thepirateship
Dec. 8th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
I absolutely love that icon. *grins*
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)
Thank you! That's courtesy of the brilliant curtana. I love the idea of Virginia channeling Galadriel. :)
ithildyn
Dec. 8th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
LOL!!
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)
:-D
travels_in_time
Dec. 8th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
:D :D :D

I'm scared of dogs, although never mean to them. What should I do to prepare for the future?
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
I'd say continue as you are, never being mean to them - and maybe, on occasion, appreciate them from a safe distance. They like to have cuddle buddies, of course, but they also don't mind being admired from afar. ;)

:D
green_key
Dec. 9th, 2007 04:58 am (UTC)
That is my message: Be excellent to each other.

But especially to the Boston terriers.


LOL! I loved this so much.
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 01:49 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you! :)
(Anonymous)
Dec. 9th, 2007 11:46 am (UTC)
I for one welcome our new canine overlords. *hands out tasty treats*
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 9th, 2007 02:00 pm (UTC)
Excellent! :)
theladyrose
Dec. 10th, 2007 05:49 am (UTC)
Brilliant advice, o wise one! And I must thank you for the lovely holiday card - my roommates have taken a shine to the most excellent Virginia :D I must second the commenter above - it sounds like the future is in good hands!
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 10th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you got the card and liked it. Please thank your roommates for their Virginia appreciation. :) She says all of you will be properly rewarded when the Bostons rise to power. ;)

I saw a bumper sticker I really must get: Your honor student is merely a pawn in my Boston terrier's plans for world domination.

So true. LOL!
witchcat07
Dec. 10th, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
But how does this fit in with Fluffy's Master Plan for World Domination?

LOVE the icon!
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 12th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)
But how does this fit in with Fluffy's Master Plan for World Domination?

Maybe they're collaborating? ;)

LOVE the icon!

Thanks! curtana made it for me. I love the idea of Virginia getting in touch with her inner Galadriel! Ha.
caster121
Dec. 12th, 2007 04:38 am (UTC)
When Fluffy and the Boston Terriers battle,

The fur will fly...Humans lose...no...I know

It will be short and some strange accord will be reached (i.e., "You guys get Holland, but only on the weekends.")
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 15th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
It will be short and some strange accord will be reached (i.e., "You guys get Holland, but only on the weekends.")

LOL!
witchcat07
Dec. 12th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
Maybe they're collaborating?

*snicker*

I think we all need to get in touch with our inner Galadriel now and then. ;~)
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 15th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
I think we all need to get in touch with our inner Galadriel now and then. ;~)

Absolutely! :)
agentxpndble
Dec. 17th, 2007 01:02 am (UTC)
I hear you now and will believe you later.
eldritchhobbit
Dec. 30th, 2007 09:09 pm (UTC)
*veg*
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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